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Self-Entitlement - Unblock Fee

If you are going to pay someone $100's for a service, you should have the ability to speak your mind (as long as it's in good faith and rational). If you aren't into humiliatrix or findom and make it clear to the performer, they should respect that. Whether you like it or not you are entering into a verbal contact, payment for services. Obviously, this is within reason and always with respect, if you are spending the money, you deserve a bit of decency and what you are paying for. It's not okay for someone to take your hard-earned money and then not provide services you were promised. It is not okay for someone to request you pay them and then give you a different experience that was promised (again within reason and respect). BUT also, remember there are two sides to every story. 


One trap too many people fall into is the "unblock" fee. What this is, is when a performer will try and use guilt for something you said or they didn't like. They will then tell you if you'd like to keep speaking to them you will have to pay them additional money. DO NOT FALL for this. This is simply a way to get more money out of you. Now I know that there are cases where this can be a legitimate issue for the performer (I am not discounting that). Remember though this is the definition of extortion: "the practice of obtaining something, especially money, through force or threats."  Now I am not saying when a "unblock" fee is asked for its extortion but I am saying that it is certainly mirrors and looks like it. What I found is a lot of performers that are short term will use this against someone. 

What happens is you say or do something reasonable but the performer uses it as a threat. They will attack you and when you defend yourself for any commentary, they will get suspiciously defensive. What you will hear is something like, you now owe me an "unblocking tip", "new fee", "charge to unblock", "right to speak to them", and so many other things.

It is a combination of things in my opinion:

  • The idea that it is easy to take advantage of someone, especially under pressure
  • Superiority complex; that you are not allowed to debate or challenge them
  • You, the payee, may have actually been wrong and not apologized
  • You are not allowed any opinion that is not of the performers

Now this stems from a lot of things:

  • Insecurities 
  • Superiority complex
  • No ability to take criticism 
  • Lack of self-awareness
  • Ability to take advantage of people

But I think it mostly stems from so many people paying and are desperate to please the performer, that increases the performers themselves self-entitlement. They get used to everyone just adhering and doing what is told to them that they lose the ability to accept criticisms. If that is your kink and you love it, then enjoy it by all means.

If this is not your kink and you are a paying person, it is a shame that this behavior is accepted with performers. A performer has to look out for themselves and be vigilant. I 100% support that but it also doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't be able to take criticisms and you can't admit when you are wrong.

And by all means if you disagree with this story, please head over to the Discussion page and have an honest debate!